


I'm yours

by Maybe_soon



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast), The Infinite Noise - Lauren Shippen
Genre: Boyfriends, Caleb's perspective, Developing Relationship, M/M, Missing Scene, Soft and Fluffy, bit of swearing, goes before ch 42 in TIN, having "the" talk, like these boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 15:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20837645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maybe_soon/pseuds/Maybe_soon
Summary: Caleb and Adam have the talk. You know, the boyfriends one.





	I'm yours

**Caleb**

As I lie in bed that night, I feel more drained than I have in months. Meeting Damien was like being turned into a puppet version of myself. I was saying things and wanting things that weren't my own thoughts or wants. Or well, they were, I guess, because Damien pushed them into me. I could feel myself slipping into nothingness, only a tinge of warm blue from Adam around the edges, keeping me grounded. 

I'm glad he was there. I smile to myself, thinking of his adorable Hardy Boys enthusiasm for the stakeouts. I wonder how he feels about finding out more about other atypicals now. He was pretty freaked out today, and when I dropped him at his house we didn't linger in our goodbyes. Shit. I should have talked to him about it more, made sure he was ok. I was focused on getting home and still feeling vaguely fuzzy from the Damien encounter, even after our coffee with Chloe, and I didn't think to check. 

I'm a shitty boyfriend. I think, sitting up and looking for my phone to call or text him or something, to reach out and make sure he is ok, and then I stop. That reminds me of something. Something at the park before Damien... no, not before, it was when Damien was there, but what...

I lay back down and play back the scene in my mind. The picture is blurred and there are parts I can't focus on, like I'm watching a movie through glasses that are the wrong lens for me. It was something Adam said. Damien's smooth, terrifying voice said something about my friend not wanting him to sit and Adam said something and I could feel him get hot and embarrassed, even under the fog, I remember that feeling. He said boyfriend. He called me his boyfriend, and it made me feel warm and satisfied. But he was embarrassed. Why was he embarrassed? 

This thing, this wonderful thing, this relationship that we have started hasn't really been defined, I guess. But I've been calling him my boyfriend, in my head at least, since we first kissed. And when Alice asked me the other day, in her usual blunt way, whether Adam was my boyfriend now, I said yes without hesitation. And then went on about him for about 20 minutes until she patted me on the shoulder and told me I had it bad and wandered off to do something less boring than listen to me ramble on about Adam I guess. 

But for some dumb reason I've never raised it with him, or said it to him, or in front of him. I think I was waiting for him to say something. Not wanting to rush anything, not wanting to scare him off if that's not what he wants. We kiss and hang out and hold hands and he is my whole world so of course he is my boyfriend. To me at least that's what this is. But I don't know what he thinks because I don't read minds and he's never raised it either.

I think back to the Adam's embarrassment at the park. I wish I had been able to concentrate more, to push through and feel what was behind it. But I can't remember more and it's all so hazy. I'm either going to have to wait and ask him in person, which will be terrifying and awkward probably, or puzzle this out for myself, here and now. 

I can do this.

Ok. So, there are several possibilities. One, he blurted it out under Damien's influence and didn't mean it at all. Like, Damien put the thought in his head like he put thoughts into mine. I think about that for a second but don't think that's it. Why would Damien want him to say that? So, no. That one's easy to reject. I think. 

Possibility two, Adam called me his boyfriend just to try and get rid of Damien. Maybe he thought it would make him leave if he knew we were a couple? This one is more likely, maybe, but...I don't think the embarrassment really fits with that. He wouldn't feel that way if he only said it to Damien as a challenge, as a lie, trying to shake him off. 

It hits me that I felt no buzzer go off, no lie coming from Adam. He called me his boyfriend and he felt embarrassed but he wasn't lying. He thinks of me that way. He thinks of me as his boyfriend. 

Go Feelings Boy, you worked it out by yourself. Now _call him and talk to him about it_. 

I pick up my phone and call before I can think of any more possibilities that will change my mind. I am 80% confident that I have this right and I am not going to pass up the opportunity to say it. Shit though, maybe I should wait and talk to him in person tomorrow. This would be better if I could feel his feelings and know for sure that this is what he wants. 

Before I can change my mind and cancel the call, he answers. “Hi.” 

He sounds wide awake and normal and like I maybe interrupted him doing homework or something. A single syllable and suddenly I am only 50% sure. Fuck, this was a bad idea.

“Hi... um.”

“What's up?” 

“I wanted to check that you were ok,” I say. “After today I mean.” 

He gives a little laugh. “Yeah, I'm ok. I mean, it was definitely one of the weirdest days of my life. But… I'm ok.”

“That's good,” I breathe. I definitely should have done this in person. I want to see him and hug him and kiss him and make sure that everything is fine, that his emotions are soft and comfortable and not jagged and scared or an endless ocean of worry. 

“How are you though?” he asks, and I can hear a little concern in his voice, but I think it is just concern for me and not a deep terror of his own about meeting a real life supervillain today. “You bore the brunt of Damien's... ability,” he goes on. “Are you...?”

“I'm fine,” I say. “It's worn off I guess. I feel... almost back to normal.” 

“Almost?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I hesitate. “It'd be better if you were here," I admit. "You… you help me feel more like myself.” I don't think I've ever told him this and I wish I could see his face right now and feel what he’s feeling. Without my ability to guide me, I have to listen carefully instead to hear his soft joy as he says, “Oh. That's. Um, I'm glad… I wish I could be there right now then. To um… help you feel bett...”

“I want to be your boyfriend," I blurt out, interrupting him. Shit, I should have built up to that, probably. How does a normal conversation about these things go? I should have done that, whatever that is. 

“Wha...?” He is thrown by the words and I wait, feeling like I've said too much already. “Well, um, you are,” he says finally. “My boyfriend. If, I mean. I want that too.” I breathe out and try to say something but he goes on, “I'm sorry I said it today in the park without talking to you first, I just…” 

“No, don't apologise. I should have said something earlier anyway. I... you've been my boyfriend in my head since the beginning.”

“Me too,” he says, and I can definitely hear the joy now. He laughs and I laugh too, relief and happiness filling me up. 

“Ok, so boyfriends..." I say. "Cool. Good. Great. I'm… your boyfriend.” It feels strange to say it to him but also totally, amazingly, 100% right. 

“Yeah Caleb,” he's laughing at me now. “And I'm yours.” 

My grin is splitting my face apart and we are both silent for a few minutes, thinking about it, about us. 

“Hey, so don't leave too early for school tomorrow,” I say finally. 

“Why not?” Adam asks.

“I'm going to come and pick you up. I want to walk my boyfriend to school.”

A millisecond pause and then he says “Awww, you big sap.” He's teasing, but his voice is so light and happy that I don't need my ability to know that if he were here, I would be awash with green, joy from head to toe. “Ok, I'll wait for you.” 

We end the conversation with goodbyes and hang up, and I feel like I lied earlier when I said I needed Adam in the room with me to feel like myself again. Just hearing his voice has done that. I feel completely at ease with the world, like the park encounter today never happened. Like there is no Damien, no Chloe, just Adam and me.

When I pick him up from his house the next morning the grin on his face matches mine and I kiss my sweet boyfriend at his front door, wrapping my arms as tightly around him as I can before we set off for school, hand in hand. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Jason Mraz for the title and thefigureinthecorner for suggesting I look at Jason Mraz for a title :)


End file.
